January Stress

As January 23rd comes to a close I'd like to reflect back on January 23 2004. It is very hard to believe that it has already been six years since Ryan and Vanessa left us. Gone, but not forgotten. Sometimes I find myself still in disbelief that you two have passed. I still reflect on the last time I seen each of you at school. The last time we spoke. The both of you were really good people. I hope you're resting happily. I'll try to make it out and visit the crash site and pay my respects again this year.

I guess it has been a while since I updated here. I haven't had that much to talk about. The death of my friend drained me from wanting to do much of anything lately. The other day I went out to the pool hall with my friend and a lot of other people that were friends with Zach (along with his father). I think getting together like that helps to make things a little easier. I know it isn't a cure, but it is a help. When I walked in it I felt like I should see him standing there. It felt empty upon the realization he wouldn't be. It was an alright night though. Played some music on the jukebox, watched people get drunk, and play pool. I hope I'll get a chance to be out another night with everyone before February.

Speaking of February... and I'm not sure if I can be so safe to talk about this yet, but I'll give it a mention. I know some know already, but I've been a little busy getting ready for a trip I am going to be taking. I only have sixteen days left to get everything finished up with. That involves and not limited to getting clothing fixed and ready, doing a little extra shopping, gift shopping for the family, and making sure everything is an order. Not to mention STRESSING over meeting the parents/family. Swear, I'm going to be a puddle of nerves by the time that happens. I've already started to get a few things together; gifts, toiletries, paperwork. Oh the joys of stressing over doing something like this for the first time. Thankfully the majority of my family doesn't know what I am doing... that I know of. That would be another lovely obstacle to work around. The family member, my aunt, that would really be the one huffing and puffing over this has quit talking to me since she knows I'm gay. One less thing I have to worry about though. Haha.

Since I don't have much to say here I'll leave off with a few questions...

1. Where would you love to travel to?
2. What kind of gifts should I bring to meet the parents/family? (Filipino family, fyi.)
3. Any suggested items I should take with me?
4. I have nothing else to ask so, you ask me?

I'll see you all around and I'll try to update again before I go and maybe once I get there and settled in. Take care!

Rest In Peace, Zach

I received news this morning that a friend of mine had committed suicide. I found out through his girlfriend who is one of my closest friends and means a lot to me. Currently, I am still in shock and disbelief that this really has happened. They were really good together. A nice couple. Zach was a really good guy too. I am very thankful that I was introduced to him and was able to spend time over the last two years getting to know him. Those are memories I will keep with me for the rest of my life. I wish that I was in a better state of mind to write about how incredible of a person that you really were. I know that I will be seeing you again some day soon. We can have a beer and play some pool because if I remember correctly I owe you one. Watch over everyone here as they grieve and get through this very difficult time. Especially your girl. I know she really misses you and feels lost with the thought of you being gone. You really meant a lot to her as well as many other people. We all will miss you. I love you.

Rest In Peace, Zach.

EDIT:

This has been being passed around FB and other sites and I want to get it out here. It would mean a lot to me if everyone could pass this on. I think that this should reach out of the U.S and go on an international level. The showing was just today and the funeral is set for tomorrow morning.

IN ZACHS MEMORY ON SATURDAY HIS MOTHER IS ASKING EVERYONE TO DO A RANDOM ACT OF KINDNESS B/C WE ALL KNOW ZACH WOULD. THIS IS GOING TO BE POSTED ALL OVER THE U.S IN E-MAILS NEWSPAPERS AND INTERNET POSTS SO PASS IT ON... IT WOULD MEAN THE WORLD TO HIS FAMILY B/C WE ALL LOVE AND MISS HIM SO MUCH