tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6718021234143524862024-02-08T13:09:14.361-05:00The Quiet Things That No One Ever KnowsI'm a lover and a fighter. I'll fight for what I love.Kacehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04304592917997316291noreply@blogger.comBlogger13125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-671802123414352486.post-84204287265859495512010-03-13T15:09:00.005-05:002010-03-13T15:14:47.172-05:00Home Is Where The Heart IsThis blog is going to be different from the rest. Let me wear my heart on my sleeve for just a little while. Very serious and very real.<br /><br />They say that home is where the heart is, right? I finally know the real meaning of that. Back when I first met my girlfriend that January 7th 2008 she told me she was from some place called the Philippines. I was clueless as to what or where it was. Never remember reading or studying about it in school or even catching something on the news. I wasn't even sure if I ever had heard of this mystery land before. I was curious. That started my reading and research. I read everything from places and holidays to language and climate. The more I read the more this place seemed like home. That was far before my girlfriend and I were ever official.<br /><br />Let the months pass to October and we're finally dating. I was cramming my brain more on information and the language. I was trying so hard not to be that typical ignorant, asshole, American. The Philippines had an ever stronger grasp on me now. Even before we got together I could see myself there with her. Now we're together? It was no longer a thought, but a longing.<br /><br />Fast forward more through so much heartache, struggles, and drama. We have now known each other two years. Been dating for one year and four months. It's February 10th 2010 and I am on a plane headed to the Philippines. I had no idea what really was waiting for me on the other side of the world. I've gone through immigrations and am on my way to meet my girlfriend for the first time. The first real time. I'm pulling my luggage behind me and staring intently at the ground before my feet; too nervous to look up. I heard a shout and as a natural reaction my head lifted. "KACE!" She perked up on her feet and waved both arms in the air at me. I guess my nerves really set in there. I managed a smirk, half wave, and a hey. Got my luggage on a cart and as I walked next to her pushing it I felt an arm around me and her weight pulling me down as she stretched taller, cupping her hand to my ear, telling me how I look even better in person. I shook my head and stared more intently at the ground. We got a taxi and went home.<br /><br />March 1st is upon us now, the day my return ticket was set for. I had told her just days after being here that I couldn't leave her when the day arrived. It was just hours before I had to leave to catch my flight. I had nothing packed and I just clung to her, pouring my heart into her hands. I couldn't leave her, but my visa expired just the next day. Suddenly it was morning and the plane I was supposed to be on had left. By that time it was already over Canada. Neither of us could really believe what we had just done since we didn't know the outcome. I was lucky enough to get my visa extended to April 10th.<br /><br />Today is now March 14th. It is decided that I will leave right at the end of March despite our plans for me to stay here until June and fly back to the states. Neither of us can manage me staying here until then.<br /><br />Now I know the true meaning<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Home is where the heart is...</span><br /><br />My heart belongs to her. She is my home.<br /><br />I never thought that love was real and if it was; love was never meant for me. I'm very much a believer now. In my life I have never felt so strongly about a person. I have never been more certain of how my life should be. I have never wanted something more badly in my life. I have found my life. I have found where I belong and I can't, no, won't let it go. I am hers before I am anything else in life. I will stand up to any person that tries to get in our way of having a life together. I'll look them right in the eyes and I won't back down. I don't care who it is; if you are standing in my way, I'll make you move.<br /><br />But...<br /><br />I am so heartbroken that I have to leave her behind here. Heartbroken that this life I have with her is only temporary and I never know when I will see her again. Not knowing the next time I will wake up happily in the morning next to her or fall asleep with her at night. The life I had before this is like a distant memory to me now. Going back to that is devastating to me. Here I am; my soul and heart and finally whole. I have found where I belong. I have never felt more real, alive, happy, or proud in my life than what I have felt for a month and a half. Life has never made more sense to me. Now I have to have both tore in half and shattered about because I have to leave it behind? I'm sincerely and honestly devastated and heartbroken. I can not live a temporary life. I need my life with her to start now, but I don't know where or how to start it. How can I ever be ok with leaving my life and love behind? Especially without guarantee.<br /><br />My life is in the arms of my lover. In the eyes of my best friend. It is the only place that feels real or right to me. The only thing in my life that has ever had a path to my future. I am crazy about her. I am deeply and madly in love with her. When I see her I see my life and my future. I can't stress that enough. She is the most amazing person I have ever met and I feel very privileged and proud to call her mine. Nothing in the world can compare to the feeling of what it is to love her and be loved by her. There is nothing in the world you could bribe me with that would ever cause me to leave her. While I love her now, and forever, it is without regret that I do so. I wouldn't trade a second of the past two and a half years for anything.<br /><br />I won't speak for her feelings on anything; that's hers to do. Those are her private thoughts and emotions.<br /><br />I know that this is very selfish of me to feel the way I do right now, but being in love is entirely selfish.<br /><br />Here I am sitting alone in a dark room... devastated, lost, confused, and heartbroken. I know what I have with her is only temporary. I need a permanent solution to fix it all. Permanent in the sense we can both have a home together some place (The US, Philippines, or Canada) without one of us having to leave the other for an unknown amount of time.<br /><br />Now, let me end this on a very pathetic note. I need help. Where do I start? What can I do to make our lives permanent? I know that money is always a first step, but I honestly have nothing now. I wish that "I know someone who knew someone". Someone that could really help us get a good start together so we don't have to keep splitting ways. Someone that can help her get a job in the US or Canada. Someone that could help me get to stay here in the Philippines. Someone to help out financially. What do I do with the pocket change I have? How can I save? I am already planning to sell off some of my personal things. (If you are interested let me know.)<br /><br />What can I do? I need advice, help, money (savings), people that can get us going.<br /><br />Thanks for reading and leaving feedback.<br /><br />Take care.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />~I love you more than I love life. I value you more than I value my own life. Being with you is the most amazing thing that has ever happened to me and continues to happen to me. Every day that goes by you amaze me more and I fall deeper in love with you. I never expected someone like you would fall into my life and make my life. You are my sanity in this twisted world of madness. You're the anchor that keeps me grounded. The soft reassuring voice in the darkness of my worries and fears. My reason for living and breathing. The reason I see the sun rise and fall every day. The reason I always work to better myself. I feel as if I were created for you and you were made for me. I was made to love you and do whatever is in my power to make sure you get what your heart desires, that you succeed in life, you are happy, and well taken care of. You became the key to opening my heart. All the unpaired puzzle pieces I held locked away were spilled at our feet. I seen yours spill over on top of mine and watched as they meshed together to create a future that belongs to us. It will be bound in our hearts and by two rings lovingly placed on each other's finger. It will be bound by the vows we pass from heart to heart and soul to soul. Forever doesn't begin to describe how much I love you and eternity is not even close to the time I want to spend loving you. It is without regret that I love you. It is without regret that I give my heart and soul to you. It is without regret that I give you my all. It is without taking you for granted. Tomorrow is not promised to anyone and I live my life making sure every day is treated as the last. Making sure every day you feel what you mean to me. Making sure every day I never fail to tell you I love you.<br /><br />Mahal na mahal kita baby ko.Kacehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04304592917997316291noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-671802123414352486.post-18729870424863772112010-03-02T00:42:00.002-05:002010-03-02T01:06:46.940-05:00ExtensionWell, here I am my flight left on Monday, but here I am still. I need to yet rebook my flight. I'll probably get that done tomorrow or the day after. The Delta people said I have a week to rebook, but I don't want to procrastinate on that.<br /><br />I just got back from the agency a bit ago and they have my passport. (Talk about procrastinating) They are currently processing my visa extension (I got it rushed because today is my last day of my visa) and I should be able to go pay and pick it up tomorrow. The price isn't bad for going through an agency and having it expedited so that it'll be ready in one day. I'll just be waiting tomorrow for the lady to text or call and say that it is ready to be picked up.<br /><br />I had originally tried going to Intramuras last week. We took the MRT to the LRT and there to old Manila. When we got off of the LRT and started making our way around to get to immigration I had a bad feeling about it. We got close to the bridge we needed to cross to get there and she stopped dead in her tracks and started saying it was getting dark and would be too dangerous for me to stick around there any longer. I was pretty confused considering it was still light out and wasn't gonna be dark for a while, but nonetheless I left with her. We took the Jeepny out of there and went to Luneta Park and caught a Calesa and went over to the boardwalk. I really liked sitting there by the water and munching on some ice cream and talking. She got balut and the vendor was freaked out because she was going to eat it with me there. It made me laugh that he was freaked out when I could of cared less. I had a couple of little kids sitting next to me and the one called me a guy... he thought I was her boyfriend. I was amused.<br /><br />After sitting there for a while we got up and walked along the boardwalk and stopped at a couple vendors for drinks and peanuts. Haha. Tried finding us a taxi and then gave up on it so we walked over to Star City. Yeah, thats right... walked. Haha. It was fun goofing off inside of there. Rode a couple of the rides, played a few games, and went into the 'winter wonderland' thing they had. I was laughing to myself at all the Filipinos that were freezing. When I got inside I opened up my jacket and was about to take it off, but my gf got cold herself and wanted to leave. Went out and messed around a bit more before we headed home. Ah, before leaving she stopped at one of the stalls inside and bought me a Philippines jacket. I haven't been able to wear it yet coz of the weather here, but I'll find a reason to. After the lady gave it to me I thanked her, but for whatever reason I said something like 'Thank you po'. I am still baffled on why I said that... I didn't intend to say it... and I wasn't even thinking it. Haha!<br /><br />Thats just what has been going on with me this past week/weekend. I'm sorry I haven't been updating... just been enjoying myself too much here to even have the time to write. Well, drop me some comments here. Suggest some places I should eat at, see, visit, whatever in Manila and where ever!<br /><br />Take care.Kacehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04304592917997316291noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-671802123414352486.post-14583497426170101742010-02-07T04:24:00.004-05:002010-02-07T05:26:46.033-05:00Pre FlightI am gonna try to keep this post pretty short.<br /><br />The last few days I've had quite a bit going on. I had to go out shopping for a couple things. Then had to go back shopping again because what I was going to do for her parents, I can't. I had a feeling I wasn't going to be able to. I honestly feel a bit disappointed in that. The other day I went out with my uncle coz he had to pick up a few things. I bought something else for her parents. A bag of Reeses, Hershey's Special Dark Chocolate Kisses, and Hershey Milk Chocolate Kisses. They better like chocolate. Hahaha. Yesterday I did all my packing except for the few last minute things I gotta get done. Tomorrow... ok, today, I have to clean my room up real good and rearrange furniture. My back is already acting up from stress, laundry, running around, not sleeping right... tomorrow and my flight won't make that any better. Haha.<br /><br />This very well might be my last post for at least three weeks. If you want to keep in touch with me just leave comments or get me on my facebook. ( facebook.com/ambi.kace )<br /><br />Take care everyone.Kacehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04304592917997316291noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-671802123414352486.post-45570133145148639182010-01-23T22:50:00.004-05:002010-01-24T00:21:17.742-05:00January StressAs January 23rd comes to a close I'd like to reflect back on January 23 2004. It is very hard to believe that it has already been six years since Ryan and Vanessa left us. Gone, but not forgotten. Sometimes I find myself still in disbelief that you two have passed. I still reflect on the last time I seen each of you at school. The last time we spoke. The both of you were really good people. I hope you're resting happily. I'll try to make it out and visit the crash site and pay my respects again this year.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://s397.photobucket.com/albums/pp55/kuligligxkulit/Blogspot/?action=view&current=stuffs0962.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i397.photobucket.com/albums/pp55/kuligligxkulit/Blogspot/stuffs0962.jpg" alt="Photobucket" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><div style="text-align: left;"><br /><br />I guess it has been a while since I updated here. I haven't had that much to talk about. The death of my friend drained me from wanting to do much of anything lately. The other day I went out to the pool hall with my friend and a lot of other people that were friends with Zach (along with his father). I think getting together like that helps to make things a little easier. I know it isn't a cure, but it is a help. When I walked in it I felt like I should see him standing there. It felt empty upon the realization he wouldn't be. It was an alright night though. Played some music on the jukebox, watched people get drunk, and play pool. I hope I'll get a chance to be out another night with everyone before February.<br /><br />Speaking of February... and I'm not sure if I can be so safe to talk about this yet, but I'll give it a mention. I know some know already, but I've been a little busy getting ready for a trip I am going to be taking. I only have sixteen days left to get everything finished up with. That involves and not limited to getting clothing fixed and ready, doing a little extra shopping, gift shopping for the family, and making sure everything is an order. Not to mention STRESSING over meeting the parents/family. Swear, I'm going to be a puddle of nerves by the time that happens. I've already started to get a few things together; gifts, toiletries, paperwork. Oh the joys of stressing over doing something like this for the first time. Thankfully the majority of my family doesn't know what I am doing... that I know of. That would be another lovely obstacle to work around. The family member, my aunt, that would really be the one huffing and puffing over this has quit talking to me since she knows I'm gay. One less thing I have to worry about though. Haha.<br /><br />Since I don't have much to say here I'll leave off with a few questions...<br /><br />1. Where would you love to travel to?<br />2. What kind of gifts should I bring to meet the parents/family? (Filipino family, fyi.)<br />3. Any suggested items I should take with me?<br />4. I have nothing else to ask so, you ask me?<br /><br />I'll see you all around and I'll try to update again before I go and maybe once I get there and settled in. Take care!<br /></div></div>Kacehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04304592917997316291noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-671802123414352486.post-71984072060542035012010-01-06T15:59:00.003-05:002010-01-08T20:53:27.417-05:00Rest In Peace, ZachI received news this morning that a friend of mine had committed suicide. I found out through his girlfriend who is one of my closest friends and means a lot to me. Currently, I am still in shock and disbelief that this really has happened. They were really good together. A nice couple. Zach was a really good guy too. I am very thankful that I was introduced to him and was able to spend time over the last two years getting to know him. Those are memories I will keep with me for the rest of my life. I wish that I was in a better state of mind to write about how incredible of a person that you really were. I know that I will be seeing you again some day soon. We can have a beer and play some pool because if I remember correctly I owe you one. Watch over everyone here as they grieve and get through this very difficult time. Especially your girl. I know she really misses you and feels lost with the thought of you being gone. You really meant a lot to her as well as many other people. We all will miss you. I love you.<br /><br />Rest In Peace, Zach.<br /><br />EDIT:<br /><br />This has been being passed around FB and other sites and I want to get it out here. It would mean a lot to me if everyone could pass this on. I think that this should reach out of the U.S and go on an international level. The showing was just today and the funeral is set for tomorrow morning.<br /><br /><h3 style="font-weight: normal; font-family: trebuchet ms;" class="UIIntentionalStory_Message" ft="{"type":"msg"}"><span style="font-size:100%;"><span class="UIStory_Message">IN ZACHS MEMORY ON SATURDAY HIS MOTHER IS ASKING EVERYONE TO DO A RANDOM ACT OF KINDNESS B/C WE ALL KNOW ZACH WOULD. THIS IS GOING TO BE POSTED ALL OVER THE U.S IN E-MAILS NEWSPAPERS AND INTERNET POSTS SO PASS IT ON... IT WOULD MEAN THE WORLD TO HIS FAMILY B/C WE ALL LOVE AND MISS HIM SO MUCH</span></span></h3>Kacehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04304592917997316291noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-671802123414352486.post-48181274335397720842009-12-22T06:24:00.001-05:002009-12-22T06:26:02.643-05:00Day Of Shopping MadnessFor the record; I really dislike shopping. I have never shopped this late for Christmas and I realized how much more I dislike shopping at this time. The crowds and lines are crazy. Not to mention the selection of things.<br /><br />So, I slept about three hours last night and got up at eight to shop. Didn't get home here until about 8. It's currently about 5am. So, yay for lack of sleep, right? Went into our little town to do bank and grocery stuff before I headed out with my grandparents for a full day of shopping.<br /><br />First up we stopped in at the dollar store to pick up a few things. I managed to get something there for my father and his wife. As my grandma was looking at some things Hot by the Wonder Girls came on my ipod (Thanks Pam.) and there is a part of the song in the dance where they do, what I call, the 'butt wag'. I backed up to my grandma and started doing the dance. She started to tell me to stop coz people were watching. (Like I care?) It embarrassed her, but she laughed. I always do this stuff. She got used to it.<br /><br />Also, Bo Peep Bo Peep by T-ara came on my ipod and the first time I heard it... instead of hearing 'Bo Peep, Bo Peep, Bo Peep' I heard 'Fuck me, Fuck me, Fuck me.' It came on my ipod while at the store and I had my grandma listen to it. Her jaw hit the floor and I cracked up telling her 'They are saying Bo Peep!'.<br /><br />Hit up the mall after that. I went in while my grandparents went and did their thing. Fought my way into Hot Topic to look for some things. I spent a while in there browsing over the shirts. Apparently it was buy one novelty T and get one half off. Guess who got a Christmas prezzy? Haha. I never get anything new, so I am pretty excited to have a new JTHM shirt. Picked up something for my bro there too. I swear it took me forever to get something for her. Got in a long line and paid.<br /><br />Bounced out of Hot Topic and headed to Borders.I never realized I could spend so damn much time in that store. I started out looking for a DVD for my girl. Which, they didn't have and also costs $23 to friggen order. Then somehow I went to look for the Gay/Lesbian section and they moved it on me. So, I had to go ask this guy and he was like 'Games? Those are over--' 'No, gay and lesbian literature.' Then there was a bit of an awkward moment and he pointed it out. I was very, very disappointed in Borders. Their Gay/Lesbian literature section is bare. It used to take up two full book shelfs. Now it just takes one and the bottom three are just with the cover facing out and spaced a few inches apart. While I was browsing over what little they had this group of boys went back and loudly stated 'Ew, gay and lesbian!' and ran away giggling. I just rolled my eyes at them and went back to my business. I was very happy to see the Gay and Lesbian magazines in the store. They had The Advocate, Curve, and LOTL. I browsed the pages on those before wandering elsewhere. Then I wandered to the travel section and look at the Asian travel books. Somehow ended up in the foreign language section and in line with a Tagalog book. I was shocked to see it was there. They never have anything Philippines related. I acted like someone else was gonna take that book (there was only one). Which was kinda dumb coz I know that wasn't gonna happen.<br /><br />As I was on my way to the restroom in Borders I seen these two ladies sitting at a table taking money for a kitty shelter. I dug all the change out of my pocket and dumped it into their little bowl. The one lady's face lit up and she exclaimed, " That's so nice of you! Thank you, sir!" I just grinned and told her she was welcome. Before I left the bathroom I dug a dollar out of my wallet and gave that to them when I walked back by. The lady's face lit up again and she started graciously thanking me. I wonder if she was making up for the gender confusion?<br /><br />Went across the street from the mall and into Barnes and Nobels yet again looking for the movie for my girl. Which, it cost a whole $25. Darn foreign movies being so expensive. I ended up flipping through the CDs to see if maybe I could find something. I did, but wasn't sure. I ended up passing that up. Browsed over the manga section seeing if anything interested me and then walked to the other side of the store to the Gay/Lesbian literature. Barnes and Nobels owns Borders when it comes to that. They had a really good selection of Fiction and Non Fiction books. I seen one that really got my attention and I flipped through. It was called HerScopes: A Guide To Astrology for Lesbians by Charline Lichtenstein. (I love astrology, fyi.)It was a bit freaky how true what it said about my relationship pairing was. It said that my sign is the worrier, the one that works at home while the partner works at the office, affectionate to the partner. Then when I read the reverse it said my girl's sign to mine. It said shed tend to be in the office with my sign at home and also said she'd go out for a night without ever bothering to contact her partner and let her know.. leaving her partner up all night worrying. I got a few weird looks for being in that section but at least no one said anything. I should of checked their magazines too. I forgot.<br /><br />Somehow I ended up in the craft store with my grandma coz she was looking for a small Santa hat for a doll I fondly call - 'The Bride of Chucky'. As we walked past one isle I stopped coz I seen a kid walk by that I knew and I thought 'Tony?' out loud trying to remember his name. Well, my grandma decided to -yell- 'TONY!' He turned around and I wanted to smack her. I barely ever talked to this kid when I was in school. He was like three grades ahead of me. I told him we had math class and sat next to each other. He asked my name and I told him and he went 'Yeah, I remember you. You got a totally different style now!' And just sorta started talking about how he likes how I dress. I think he was hitting on me. Ayy... We talked for a few before saying bye.<br /><br />As my grandma and I rounded the back of the store I seen a friend of mine (Ok, my ex's brother's wife, but those are just mere technicalities). I went up and hugged her and we got to talk a bit about how things are going. She remembers me by the damn good fudge I made them for Christmas a couple years ago. It was one of the first things she said to me. I hope thats a good thing. Haha. She said she reads my blog updates to hey, shout out to Jaimi!<br /><br />I also started doing the 'Hot' butt wag in the store and my grandma kept telling me people were watching me. I did it to her one time and it scared her and she yelled. Some guy turned around and sorta started laughing.<br /><br />Ended up at Best Buy and bought my girl something that I now have to return after waiting forever in line to pay for it. Haha. Turns out it isn't what she was so interested in. I'll just get my money back and go invest in something else. She is the most impossible woman to shop for, I swear. She never talks about things she wants, likes, or even hints. When I try to ask her she refuses to give me any ideas. I thought up an idea and talked it over with Pammyboo a bit. Seems like it's an ok idea, right? I hope... Haha.<br /><br />In the next couple days I gotta get back to the mall, Best Buy, and a couple other of our stores to dig up something for my girl. S I hope the store has everything I have in mind for her. I might be forced to re-replan if not. Shopping for her could be the possible death of me. I wrote quite a bit, dang.<br /><br />Something I recorded for my girl a few days ago.<br /><br />1234... I love you<br /><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/1hoib1qx7C8&hl=en_US&fs=1&"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/1hoib1qx7C8&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><br />Now that Christmas Eve and Christmas are so near; what are your final plans on how you'll spend it? Did you get all your shopping done early or are you last minute shopping? What's on your wish list?<br /><br />Oh, hai thar, sir!<br /><br /><a href="http://s397.photobucket.com/albums/pp55/kuligligxkulit/AFX/?action=view&current=IMG_2342.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i397.photobucket.com/albums/pp55/kuligligxkulit/AFX/IMG_2342.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket" /></a><br /><br /><a href="http://s397.photobucket.com/albums/pp55/kuligligxkulit/AFX/?action=view&current=IMG_2352.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i397.photobucket.com/albums/pp55/kuligligxkulit/AFX/IMG_2352.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket" /></a><br /><br /><a href="http://s397.photobucket.com/albums/pp55/kuligligxkulit/AFX/?action=view&current=IMG_2362.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i397.photobucket.com/albums/pp55/kuligligxkulit/AFX/IMG_2362.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket" /></a>Kacehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04304592917997316291noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-671802123414352486.post-9707914678090137202009-12-04T20:03:00.000-05:002009-12-04T20:05:20.166-05:00DuAce ThanksmasThanksgiving has been over for a while now and I've had a few people ask for me to write about how that went. It wasn't very eventful so I have been putting off writing until I had something else to say. <br /><br />The night before Thanksgiving I was in the kitchen with my grandma making all the sweets. She had already cooked a cherry cheesecake pie and a pumpkin pie before I got started. I ended up making brownies and lemon bars. I had started the topping mix for the lemon bars when my grandma realized my grandfather hadn't gone to the store like he said. So, that left me with a mix I had to stir for about a little over an hour. I was very thankful when he came home and I could finish that and the pumpkin pie. It was interesting trying to cram everything into the refrigerator after. Thanksgiving day I got up, ate, and then took a nap on the couch while my cat laid on top of me. Woke up and watched television with my grandparents. They are totally obsessed with that show 'Ghost Whisperer'. I've watched it a few with them and it is sorta interesting. Anyone else watch?<br /><br />Now we got this next holiday that is coming up that goes by the name of Christmas. Honestly, I am not looking forward to it. I think back to how things were the year before at this time, all the promises made, and all the things that were supposed to happen that never did; it kills my Christmas spirit. There was only one thing I wanted last year and it is the same thing I want this year. I know you very likely aren't reading this, but that doesn't change a thing. I have my grandma and my father trying to get me to tell them some things I want for Christmas. They can't seem to accept the fact that there isn't anything I want. I keep being pressured to tell them something. So, as I write this I am currently blasting Kpop and head desking over something to tell them. I really never have looked forward to Christmas in years and years. More so any more since I have to go to my father's house. Which, is really the only time of the year I ever do go there. I'd be happy if I never had to see that place again. <br /><br />Wow, that is a bit gloomy for this blog, eh? <br /><br />I got some Christmas shopping I have to do yet. Have about maybe six people to buy for this year and no money to do it on. Cheers for being broke, right? Haha. I need to round up ideas from these people too. <br /><br />The last few nights have been pretty cool. Generally I don't ever talk or participate in the Skype conferences. My bro and I got started one night and now it seems like we are the life of Skype days. Haha. DuAce bromance has been working it. (That feels really awkward to write.) We might have a Facebook debut for everyone that is interested. Just started on things last night and it is pretty plain so far. We are sorta looking for someone who would want to be amazingly awesome and draw D and myself and someone to do up a little logo for us. So, if anyone out there is reading and good with the drawing and paintshop skills, leave me a comment. DuAce will love you much. <br /><br />To close this one out I am looking for someone to draw/photoshop a logo for DuAce<br /><br />and<br /><br />How are you going to be spending your Christmas? What do you wish for? <br /><br />Take care everyone.Kacehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04304592917997316291noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-671802123414352486.post-74591790600843663362009-11-14T03:56:00.004-05:002009-11-14T04:07:55.588-05:00Pink Bear RantIt has been a while since I posted anything on here. I haven't really had much to say or write about.<br /><br />If you are a fan of the Twilight series then you will be interested in this. My friend, Ana, from Pink Bear Fad is holding one of her monthly give aways. She is making her own Alice Cullen fingerless gloves. All you have to do is hop on over to her blog here on blogspot give her a follow and leave her a comment. Also, she does ship international, but you have to pay that price yourself. If you really want the gloves and don't win she is also selling them on her store. (Links are available on her blog.) So, go give it a look over at http://pinkbearfad.blogspot.com/<br /><br />This next piece is an unedited rant I posted some place previously and thought I'd get it out and share here.<br /><br />Rant Of The Day: Got talking to my grandma about being gay. According to her 'It is just a feeling and you don't know until you are sexually with someone'<br /><br />I am completely blown away by her saying that. It is beyond me how sex equates love or more-so sex over rides feelings. And that you can only base how you feel about someone if you have been sexually active with them. So sex voids or confirms true feelings according to her. I wonder if I told her I like this boy named John Doe... if she would say 'Well, wait a minute. You can't know for sure what you feel is really right unless you have sex with him.' I think not. It bothers me how gay = sex. If you are gay sex must be brought into the situation. When sex has nothing to do with real feelings and nothing to do with love. Sex should not confirm love, but sex should be a product of love. Love should not be a result of sex. Sex should be a result of love. Actually, if it is a result of love then it should be classified as making love above be labeled as sex.<br /><br />Her statement also would void out people who take a chastity vow, vow of abstinence, or simply want to wait until marriage. By that rule you are marrying out of unstable/unknowing feelings because you have not been sexually active with said person. So, when the wedding night comes and the couple eventually does have sex. Uh-oh... what happens when because of sex they find out they don't care about each other? Wasted money, divorce, wasted wedding, wasted years, et cetera. That would mean those people should get married just for the sex in order to see if they really love each other? That when two people have mutual feelings that they should immediately jump into bed and have sex to confirm feelings? Ay, her statement is just completely absurd to me.<br /><br />I did much more ranting after that, but it was conversation between myself and others. I'd post it, but I don't want to drag anyone else into this. <br /><br />Take care everyone.Kacehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04304592917997316291noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-671802123414352486.post-66202850760614803352009-10-31T02:02:00.000-04:002009-10-31T02:02:42.424-04:00Halloween TreatsFirstly, I want to tell everyone to have a great Halloween. If you have got some plans or a costume you want to share drop it in my comments. I'm interested to read how everyone has decided to spend it. I still have no Halloween plans as of yet. <br /><br />There is nothing I had in mind for this blog. I can't say anything interesting enough has been going on with me. I have been cleaning for the past two days and nights. Rounding up some things I want to sell off and some things I hate to see go, but I need the money. While cleaning I remembered how some were interested in seeing more photos. I thought I would make this more of a photo entry and show off a bit of my dorky side.<br /><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://s397.photobucket.com/albums/pp55/kuligligxkulit/Blogspot/?action=view¤t=IMG_170.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i397.photobucket.com/albums/pp55/kuligligxkulit/Blogspot/IMG_170.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a><br /><br /><a href="http://s397.photobucket.com/albums/pp55/kuligligxkulit/Blogspot/?action=view¤t=IMG_171.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i397.photobucket.com/albums/pp55/kuligligxkulit/Blogspot/IMG_171.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a><br /><br />Wallscrolls <br /><br /><a href="http://s397.photobucket.com/albums/pp55/kuligligxkulit/Blogspot/?action=view¤t=IMG_167.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i397.photobucket.com/albums/pp55/kuligligxkulit/Blogspot/IMG_167.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a><br /><br />My candle and incense station.<br /><br /><a href="http://s397.photobucket.com/albums/pp55/kuligligxkulit/Blogspot/?action=view¤t=IMG_177.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i397.photobucket.com/albums/pp55/kuligligxkulit/Blogspot/IMG_177.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a><br /><br />I'm sure you all know who Buddha is.<br /><br /><a href="http://s397.photobucket.com/albums/pp55/kuligligxkulit/Blogspot/?action=view¤t=IMG_168.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i397.photobucket.com/albums/pp55/kuligligxkulit/Blogspot/IMG_168.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a><br /><br />N64, PC, Gamecube, Xbox, PS2, Wii, Gameboy, DS, Gameboy Advanced games. Not all of my video games are there. I have SNES, NES, and Sega games boxed up in my closet.<br /><br /><a href="http://s397.photobucket.com/albums/pp55/kuligligxkulit/Blogspot/?action=view¤t=IMG_169.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i397.photobucket.com/albums/pp55/kuligligxkulit/Blogspot/IMG_169.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a><br /><br />My old collection of Nintendo Power magazines and a few strategy guides which are always interesting to read.<br /><br /><a href="http://s397.photobucket.com/albums/pp55/kuligligxkulit/Blogspot/?action=view¤t=IMG_174.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i397.photobucket.com/albums/pp55/kuligligxkulit/Blogspot/IMG_174.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a><br /><br />First shelf has my HD converter box, a switch box, and my DVD player. Second is my xbox, a couple games, and memory cards. Third on the left is a PS2, a PS2, a wii, and a gamecube. Right xbox 360, and an SNES. Between them are a DS, Gameboy Advanced SP, Two Gameboy Colors, and a Gameboy Pocket.<br /><br /><a href="http://s397.photobucket.com/albums/pp55/kuligligxkulit/Blogspot/?action=view¤t=IMG_176.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i397.photobucket.com/albums/pp55/kuligligxkulit/Blogspot/IMG_176.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a><br /><br />A mixed stack of DVDs and video games.<br /><br /><a href="http://s397.photobucket.com/albums/pp55/kuligligxkulit/Blogspot/?action=view¤t=IMG_172.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i397.photobucket.com/albums/pp55/kuligligxkulit/Blogspot/IMG_172.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a><br /><br />My collection of Anime action figures. Dragonball Z, Pokemon, Digimon, and a Clive Barker limited edition figure that I am thinking of putting for sale.<br /><br /><a href="http://s397.photobucket.com/albums/pp55/kuligligxkulit/Blogspot/?action=view¤t=IMG_173.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i397.photobucket.com/albums/pp55/kuligligxkulit/Blogspot/IMG_173.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a><br /><br />More Pokemon and Digimon with Snake and some Gundam. Theres a couple Lord Of The Ring goblets in the corner. (Note: Don't pay attention to the bong. I don't smoke and I don't condone it.)<br /><br />So, I hope you all enjoy the random bit I decided to show you. I have to say I posted this mainly for Tsukita who wanted me to post these pictures and to my bro, D, since we are both awesome dorks.<br /><br />I am also still looking for those interested in a Lockerz invite. I really need people who want to join up. I appreciate it very much from those of you who already have.<br /><br />Drop a comment and let me know what you think. Take care everyone. I'll see you around. <br /><br /><br />__________<br /><span style="font-style:italic;">Kon <3 Pon</span>Kacehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04304592917997316291noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-671802123414352486.post-92017581125164589892009-10-25T19:26:00.001-04:002009-10-25T19:43:46.440-04:00Anime WebcamsYesterday turned out to be oddly eventful. I was talking with my friend Siopao and somehow we got off in a talk about some Anime. She rattled off a couple and I checked the first one out. I think I was about four minutes in and I was dieing of bordem. It was practically a very slowed down version of another anime I watched due to being bored. So, I switched to another she suggested. I, again, was restless with bordem. She urged me on to stick through it for a while because there was plenty of 'wtf' and 'lulz'. Sure enough there was a definite 'wtf' moment and I'm only on episode 6 or something. I didn't think an anime could really do a 180 like that one did. (Aside from FLCL coz that entire thing is just a WTF.) <br /><br />As it got to be afternoon... Well, not my afternoon, but the one I live by. Anyways, as it got to be afternoon I was in for a very pleasant surprise. I was in the middle of a conversation talking with my gf when I heard her IM window make a noise and she buzzed me. I opened and it was an invite to her cam. (Get your mind out of the gutters, now.)So, I early accepted then started kicking AIM in the ass to open so we could talk there. I don't remember the last time we got to talk like that. The entire hour we had together like that felt amazing. Brought back a lot of good old memories. Things I miss a lot. Had to of been months, but her doing that has me spoiled. Now I am going to want that nearly every day. She better be ready to be harassed over it (and several other things). She has a job interview later today at 4. I'm excited for her. I know she will do good coz she is awesome at what she does. She is my amAZN. Good luck though, baby girl. I know you'll be great.<br /><br />Halloween is coming real soon and I have no plans. Thats pretty typical though. What do any of you have planned? Leave a comment in this blog and let me know. I'm interested to see. <br /><br />In other news I decided to add a shout box at the bottom of my blog. If it stays lifeless for the next, oh, couple weeks then I will take it down. It's just a test run. <br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">LOCKERZ</span> I recently made an account on the site and am looking for people who are interested in joining. It is a site where you earn points by answers questions and inviting more people to the site. They give away really awesome prizes too. If you are interested in joining leave me an email at xxfyc0xx@aol.com and I will send you an invite. I would greatly appreciate anyone who helps me out. It would mean a lot to me since the prize I am going after takes a rather large amount of points and I am not trying to get it for myself.<br /><br />See you all around. Take care everyone.<br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">Kon <3 Pon.</span>Kacehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04304592917997316291noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-671802123414352486.post-47497751147591773422009-10-20T22:22:00.003-04:002009-10-21T00:06:58.036-04:00Fabrics of TagalogLast night was another great night being able to talk to my girlfriend. I would mention what we talked about, but I don't think its quite appropriate. Haha. We had a nice conversation even if most of it was me listening to her work and talking to office mates. It doesn't bother if she doesn't actually talk. Being able to listen to her talk to herself and work is more then comforting for me. I could honestly sit for hours just to watch and listen to her work without finding it boring at all. She insists I will be bored out of my skull. We'll see who wins that.<br /><br />My friend Ana of PinkBearFad ordered in fabric of a drawing I had made for my girlfriend. The fabric arrived in just today and she was kind enough to post a couple pictures up on her facebook for me to see. Ana makes great purses, clutches, diaper bags, fingerless gloves, and the list goes on. She has a real talent and I think everyone should take the time out to check out her wares. She even designs some of her own patterns to put onto fabrics. I'm sure you can find something there you like. <br /><br /><a href="http://s397.photobucket.com/albums/pp55/kuligligxkulit/Blogspot/?action=view¤t=9234_169818896136_621786136_2777399.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i397.photobucket.com/albums/pp55/kuligligxkulit/Blogspot/9234_169818896136_621786136_2777399.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a><br /><br /><a href="http://s397.photobucket.com/albums/pp55/kuligligxkulit/Blogspot/?action=view¤t=9234_169819456136_621786136_2777402.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i397.photobucket.com/albums/pp55/kuligligxkulit/Blogspot/9234_169819456136_621786136_2777402.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a><br /><br />Check her out at <br /><br />http://pinkbearfad.blogspot.com/ <br /><br />http://stores.shop.ebay.com/Pinkbearfad <br /><br />http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=5658549<br /><br />In other news, I have been talking to my friend, Siopao, for a bit today. She started with a slight bombardment of Tagalog, but I really appreciated that. I have been slacking a lot in learning. Partly because I think my girlfriend doesn't much talk to me in Tagalog anymore. (No, mahal... I don't mean verbal. I mean text. Don't get any ideas.) Siopao and I got into a small conversation which lead to me asking questions and learning a bit more. I hope the poor girl will be ready of my bombardment of questions and lack of knowledge. I can understand more then I can write and I speak it the worst. Which is probably due to the fact that I am far to shy to communicate to my girlfriend, either verbal or text, in Tagalog. I worry too much of making a mistake. I am sort of hoping with Siopao's help I might be able to kick myself in the ass and get a bit more confidence. Along with the help of some websites I know of. <br /><br />To those of you that are interested in pictures of my home life I will try to do that sometime in the coming weeks. Any particular pictures you'd like to see just let me know and I will try. <br /><br />See you all around. Take care.Kacehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04304592917997316291noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-671802123414352486.post-7970920811435957442009-10-15T23:31:00.002-04:002009-10-16T01:13:07.957-04:00Conversations and VacationsAs I stated in my last blog, I tend to talk about my girlfriend fairly often. You have been warned coz this blog will have mentions of her.<br /><br />Last night turned out to be a pretty good night. I have been in a good mood ever since. My girlfriend and I actually had a lengthy conversation about a lot of general talk and future plan type things. It isn't often we get to do that. I really don't remember the last time we did. I really enjoyed having such a calm, peaceful, relaxing conversation. We talked a little about what kind of future home we want, where we want, the kinds of rooms. I love talking about our future like that because it gives me a lot to look forward to and to work toward. Hopefully we can have another talk like that tonight... or just soon.<br /><br />I just returned home this past Monday from a quick five day vacation. It had rained at home a week before I left and when I got there the rain followed. I think it rained every day I was there except for one, which was the day I left. That was alright anyways. I only got muddy and it's not like mud is going to hurt anything. I special ordered something for my girlfriend from someone while I was there. She seems pretty excited to find out what it is. I'm excited myself coz I have no idea what it is going to look like. It is made by a woman who is legally blind. I'm amazed she can craft the way she does. The next day I went to a gift shop and bought her a necklace. She is yet to see that.<br /><br /><a href="http://s397.photobucket.com/albums/pp55/kuligligxkulit/Blogspot/?action=view&current=rsz_img__098-1.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i397.photobucket.com/albums/pp55/kuligligxkulit/Blogspot/rsz_img__098-1.jpg" alt="Photobucket" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Because of all the rain we had the field the motor home was parked in completely flooded and became a mud pit. There was at least six inches of standing water for days. The day it came to leave the motor home had to have a tractor hook up to it because it couldn't pull out of the spot it was parked in under it's own power. It would of only got stuck in the mud and caused issues. That was very interesting to watch.<br /><br />Since I am keeping this blog to interest and entertain everyone that seems interested in things with my life I thought I'd ask suggestions for things you'd like to see me blog about. Suggestions on topics, stories, pictures, video, this, that, anything. Let me know what you're interested in.Kacehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04304592917997316291noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-671802123414352486.post-20978309323935266222009-10-14T20:13:00.001-04:002009-10-14T20:21:23.971-04:00An IntroductionI thought before I jumped into posting things left and right that I would post an introduction saying what the blog will me about and a little about myself.<br /><br />This is going to be my publicly personal blog, if that makes sense to anyone but myself. I'll be posting up random stories of my day to day life, funny happenings, travels, photos, rants, et cetera. The list could really go on for a while.<br /><br />I'm Kace as many know me by and currently living in the states. I am sort of on the dorky side when it comes to my interests and sense of humor. I have no shame in admitting that either. Art in all forms is amazing and a pretty big part of my life. From drawing, writing, poetry, songs, music, to photography, and playing instruments, I do it. Traveling is absolutely amazing as well. I have been to about fourteen somethings states so far. My goal is to hit all fifty before I die and travel all over Asia. I guess its something on my non existent bucket list? Video games are love. I am a collector and a pretty avid gamer when money permits me to be. I enjoy watching anime and reading a manga on the occasion. Also, I collect things like action figures, video games, books, animes, et cetera. (Are you beginning to see the dork in me?) I have a pretty amazing girlfriend that I tend to talk about fairly often. So, be ready to hear mentions of her - - often. She is everything to me.<br /><br />That seems to sum up things for the most part. I am horrible when it comes to introducing myself and the type of person I am. I guess if you are really interested then you'll keep tabs on the blog. See you all around.Kacehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04304592917997316291noreply@blogger.com14